On Monday, I received my MEDICARE CARD in the mail. That is a bigger eye opener than getting an invitation to join AARP. Then on Tuesday, my very first SOCIAL SECURITY check hit the bank. Wow! A double whammy. I ran off to the gym and did a session of Zumba, followed by an hour of Yoga.
I had lunch with friends a couple weeks ago—I get to do that now that I'm retired. One lovely lady was sporting a new hairdo. I was queried about how I liked it. "Very nice." She had mixed her Endust up with her hairspray. The result was quite attractive. I didn't ask her why she stored both products in the same place.
In nursing, we teach that every label needs to be read three times to assure that the patient received the correct medication. It seems that applies at home as well—and not just for us "older" people. I remember years ago I got the bug spray mixed up with the oven cleaner. The mess I made under the sink wasn't pretty, and the Palmetto bug was mad as hell.
There are a couple of jokes involving just this type of problem, featuring products like PreparationH® & BenGay® or PreparationH® & Fasteeth®. Notice the pattern.
One of the younger authors in my critique group wrote about a cougar. For the life of me, I couldn't make the connection. It wasn't a story about animals. When the laughing died down, my friends clued me in on the older female/younger male definition. Fascinated, I called my son and asked if he knew what a cougar was. He concerned-sounding response was, "Why do you want to know?"
Then, a couple of weeks later, I was forced to look up camel toe. This time I was smart enough to Google it rather than asking. (Go ahead. You can pause your reading and Google it in another window. Look up moose knuckle, too, while you're at it.)
Usually I read mystery, but the occasional romance lightens my mood. Today I learned that condoms come in various sizes. The small ones are called "snug fitting." Isn't that cute. The name had to be assigned by a macho mind.