Some days, while at work, I'm finding that easing into my retirement is more difficult than it sounds. There has been a transition--as well there should be--to who is the ranking officer in our small office. Jason has been more than gracious, accepting what I have to offer, making no demands, treating me with respect, and not making critical comments about my previous actions. That's all cool. I'm honored to participate in his orientation and grateful to be passing the position on to him.
Meanwhile, I'm feeling progressively more left out of the loop--as well I should be. It's an emotional thing and not a problem, just Feeling.
I admit to the same feelings when I set about retiring several months ago, only to end up as interim associate dean for a few months. At that time, I passed my teaching domaine--class, lectures, files, everything--on to the faculty member assigned to take my classes. We made a ceremony of moving a bunch of files from my office to hers. During the summer, even though I was immersed in a new role, I keenly missed teaching and my beginning students. I still do. The difference in my relationship with our beginners is much different now than when I stood in front of their classroom.
I know this is all the emotional side of letting go of a long association with the college, the faculty, the students. Meanwhile, the way is eased by the farewell gatherings, gifts, and kind words.
I received two books that I will treasure. One contains entries from faculty--kind words, thanks, and expressions of appreciation and love. The other contains entries from students. Some repeated stories I told in class that made an impression, some thanked me for the website I maintained over the years for their reference and use, and others commented on re-listening to tapes of my lectures (I say that's sick). All were kind, respectful, and caring. It tell me that I did good.
Next week, I work four days. Then I go back one day after the holiday break. I expect that by then the reality will have hit me, and I might not want to go--but I will.
Meanwhile, I'm feeling progressively more left out of the loop--as well I should be. It's an emotional thing and not a problem, just Feeling.
I admit to the same feelings when I set about retiring several months ago, only to end up as interim associate dean for a few months. At that time, I passed my teaching domaine--class, lectures, files, everything--on to the faculty member assigned to take my classes. We made a ceremony of moving a bunch of files from my office to hers. During the summer, even though I was immersed in a new role, I keenly missed teaching and my beginning students. I still do. The difference in my relationship with our beginners is much different now than when I stood in front of their classroom.
I know this is all the emotional side of letting go of a long association with the college, the faculty, the students. Meanwhile, the way is eased by the farewell gatherings, gifts, and kind words.
I received two books that I will treasure. One contains entries from faculty--kind words, thanks, and expressions of appreciation and love. The other contains entries from students. Some repeated stories I told in class that made an impression, some thanked me for the website I maintained over the years for their reference and use, and others commented on re-listening to tapes of my lectures (I say that's sick). All were kind, respectful, and caring. It tell me that I did good.
Next week, I work four days. Then I go back one day after the holiday break. I expect that by then the reality will have hit me, and I might not want to go--but I will.
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